"Why should I put you in my next movie? What can you do that╒s different than turning your skis right or left or just going straight and leaping off of a cliff?"

He answered: "A friend and I have bought a $10 Army Surplus asbestos, fire-fighting suit. It even includes a complete asbestos helmet and Pyrex facemask. Here's our plan. I'll wear the suit; my partner will pour gasoline all over me; then he'll light me on fire. I'll ski down the hill in flames and jump off of a big cliff."

It sounded like a pretty good scene to me, so I said, "You do that and I'll make sure that I have a camera crew there to make you world famous."

Sixty-one days later the drama unfolded on an overcast day at Palisades Tahoe under the watchful eye of the local ski patrol. My ace cameraman, Don Brolin, had hired eight or ten extra people to help him with fire extinguishers, first aid supplies, and to run a couple of his backup cameras. Don wisely figured that if the skiers had bought the fireproof suit for only $10, it probably had seen better days and would have a leak here or there.

Our soon-to-be-world-famous, Barbecued Hot Dog skier, had selected just the right rock to jump off a few days earlier, and he had laboriously hauled fifteen gallons of gasoline up to where he would start skiing down in flames. By his calculations, it would take five gallons of gasoline per try. He also had decided that the suit could probably withstand three flaming trips before it would be leaking too badly. The next day was going to be his big day, everything was ready.

So, here's what happened on the hill.

"Cameramen ready?"
"Yes"
"Fire extinguishers ready?"
"Yes"
"Asbestos Man, are you ready?" A mumble came from inside the helmet, then a wave and thumbs up.

The gasoline started flowing over his helmet, then down over his shoulders and back, his chest, and finally a little extra shot of gasoline went onto his skis.

"Get ready for ignition"
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH.

An explosion roared across Palisades Tahoe and everyone instantly had second thoughts about the wisdom of this Barbecued Hot Dog trick for the cameras.

With three cameras rolling and flames leaping six or eight feet high, he shoved off, and before he had skied fifteen feet the viewing port on his fireproof helmet fogged up. He couldn't see where to hit his take-off properly, but he had to jump anyway to get down the hill to where the men with the fire extinguishers were waiting. The world's first Barbecued Hot Dog flew about 100 feet and crashed in flames.

The fire retardant fog was spewing out of many fire extinguishers as the minimum-wage firemen skied down the hill while shooting foam at the skier in flames.

Don Brolin knew he couldn't come back from this shoot without spectacular footage. He also knew he had a problem because Hot Dog Man's facemask was fogging up due to the flames.

At lunch, Asbestos Man, his assistant, cameraman Don Brolin, the firemen, and the three other cameramen figured out that Asbestos Man needed to get warm air to inhale instead of the cold mountain air. This would eliminate the fogging problem. They decided to rig up a breathing tube that went down under his armpit. That way he could breathe toasty warm, armpit-air that he alone would generate.

After lunch he once again suited up (but not until after he took a shower and sprayed on a heavy dose of deodorant). Don was set for another try at filming the Barbecued Hot Dog Skier.

Asbestos Man's partner suggested more gasoline for bigger flames for the next attempt. While more gasoline was hauled to the top of the in-run by three off-duty bartenders, the cameramen practiced their pans so they wouldn't miss, and the firemen each squeezed out a practice squirt of foam. Everything was now ready.

"Pour gasoline!"
"Second can."
"Roll cameras."
"Ignition."
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!

This time it was really spooky as Asbestos Man took off down the in-run looking like a jet airplane going down in flames. Flying 100 feet through the air while looking through a clear visor, and breathing warm armpit-air, he still crashed in flames. The crash was immediately followed by the foaming, fire-extinguishing ski patrolmen converging on him while he slid and finally rolled to a stop.

Asbestos Man's first question after he wiped the foam from his face plate and removed his still smoking helmet was: "Will I be world famous?"

Don Brolin replied, "Sure, you'll be world famous as Asbestos Man, but no one will recognize you because your entire body, including your head and face, were covered up with your $10 asbestos suit!"

Be careful what you wish for.

Editor's Note: This is one in a Tahoetopia series written by Warren Miller, legendary ski cinematographer. For other columns by Warren, click on Warren Miller.